Why?

Do not waste time arguing over godless ideas and old wives’ tales. Instead, train yourself to be godly. “Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come.” This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it. This is why we work hard and continue to struggle, for our hope is in the living God, who is the Savior of all people and particularly of all believers. (1 Timothy 4:7-10 NLT)

Why? That's usually what runs through my mind when I start back in an exercise routine. Before the actual start date, I am talking myself into it with all the whys in the world, but once I start I seem to lose focus and forget them all.

The light and momentary situation becomes so real, so big, so hard, so fast.

After that, the struggle.  I remember the reasons but the pain and circumstances, the waves of lightheaded exhaustion and the demands or mistakes of fellow strugglers overshadow me. My mind is in a constant battle of perspective. 

I can't distinguish this description now from exercise and life at times, until I read this scripture. Life is more important, specifically the holy life that God requires is more important than anything, including my own sustainable health. Not to minimize other things, but to understand that these moments in life that seem so hidden, the thoughts that remain unsaid, these duties that seem insignificant, these decisions that affect no one but our attitude, well they are paramount. These are the building blocks of true life and godliness. 

So I continue to struggle through things that devastate my heart. Circumstances that I can not change. Losses that I can't redeem, actions I can't erase.

Until the moment that I catch my breathe.

Remembering that "these light and momentary struggles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." ( 2 Corinthians 4:17)

Remembering where my hope comes from. 

Remembering my Lord, my Father, my Savior, my Friend.

He will never leave me, nor forsake me. He sees every tear, He knows my every thought, He loves me with an everlasting love, He is for me and not against me, though my father and mother forsake me, my God, He never will. He is faithful, He is true. 

Also He is no respecter of persons, so that means, He will do the same for you. Don't give up. Training is underway. There is no way you can fail, so throw your all on God.

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26

Psalm 90:17

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Elijah's Jug

A lot of people in the aftermath of the loss of my father, have fulfilled their Christian duty and action of love expressed to me by asking me, "How are you doing?" It is not because I do not want to be asked that I barely answer or cliche it to death, but because I really, truly do not know. I am as my husband told someone, "sad". So however I feel or think or come to be each day, I do not know, but...

But I will tell you what I do know. There is a metaphor I heard recently, "Elijah's Jug". Read the story... in 1 Kings 19...

19 Ahab told Jezbel everything Elijah had done, including how he had executed all the prophets. ² Then Jezbel sent a messenger to Elijah. She said, “May the gods strike me dead if by this time tomorrow I don’t take your life the way you took the lives of Baal’s prophets.”

³ Frightened, Elijah fled to save his life. He came to Beersheba in Judah and left his servant there. ⁴ Then he traveled through the wilderness for a day. He sat down under a broom plant and wanted to die. “I’ve had enough now, Lord,” he said. “Take my life! I’m no better than my ancestors.” ⁵ Then he lay down and slept under the broom plant.
An angel touched him and said, “Get up and eat.” ⁶ When he looked, he saw near his head some bread baked on hot stones and a jar of water. So he ate, drank, and went to sleep again.
⁷ The angel of the Lord came back and woke him up again. The angel said, “Get up and eat, or your journey will be too much for you.”
⁸ He got up, ate, and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled for 40 days and nights until he came to Horeb, the mountain of God.

Each day whatever I do, there is strength for that journey, not more and not less. When I look ahead to much or remember back at all my strength wanes and my heart drops. The tears come, but then as if it is part of the journey the Strength that is stronger than my weak knees can explain stands me up and imparts His Strength to me. This realization consumes my mind and heart and all is well for a time. I have never felt carries so well. So how am I, I can't wait till my smile is natural again, but ... well watch and know...

James 3:18,
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